welcome to 9jasouth

And it continues……..

I was commissioned few days ago to assist a photographer to document a wedding on October 25th at oriental hotel which i can gladly say was the best wedding of 2014 at the moment which got the social media buzzing. I left for work very early and got to the grooms location before 7am due to environmental sanitation that day. I documented the details, the groomsmen etc till noon before they all left in the convoy while i drove behind them to Oriental Hotel where the nikkai and Reception will then hold. I Photographed along side my main photographer during the nikkia and told her afterwards that i wanted to go to the reception before it was filled to document it. Honestly when i got to the main entrance of the reception i was Amazed at the work that was all done there, from the Decoration to the designs etc. I was so amazed i felt i had to share this on my instagram page, and so i pulled out my Smartphone and created few photographs and videos casually. Few minutes after the photos and videos were posted,it started media generating Attention/Engagement. bellanaijaweddings was the 1st to repost my photograph and credit was given, same thing was done on the website. Infact, bellanaija gave credit to to all the authors of any photograph it used within that short time.

Linda Ikeji on the other hand created a post on the next day of event which was Sunday 26th of October,2014. She posted 26 photographs, 4 out of which i owned/authored. Linda Ikeji didn’t deem it fit to give photo credit to the authors of the 25 photographs she posted on her blog.I can gladly say shes guilty of PLAGIARISM.

I’d love to quote what linda Ikeji stated in a post after Google restored her blog few weeks back “To understand this I am going to start from the beginning but before that I want to talk about plagiarism. My understanding of plagiarism is when you take someone’s work and republish it verbatim as your own work. I don’t do that. But if I have ever done that in the past then I apologize. It was an oversight. I do get a lot of original content, way more than any other blogger in this country. Some of the biggest news stories in this country in recent times was broken by LIB. From Goldie’s death (God rest her soul) Aluu4, ABSU rape, P-Square saga, Solomon Akiyesi and plenty more. And when I take news from other sources, I always credit them. When I don’t give credit is when the news is everywhere so I write it in my own words and make it mine. I don’t believe that is a crime. I ADMIT THAT I HAVE USED PHOTOS WITHOUT GIVING CREDIT. I APOLOGISE. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. You learn every day. And I have learnt from this.”

Honestly, in my opinion Linda Ikeji hasn’t learnt from this at all like she claimed, and it has happened again. I really don’t see how typing in those letters to give credit will affect how much she earns. Or can i say Linda Ikeji is too Lazy or Too Proud to research who Authored the photographs she posts?

This isn’t the 1st time Linda Ikeji has been guilty of this, she has done it to Obi Somto and TCD Photography who are my colleagues in the Photography Industry. All i simply want is for her to do the needful by giving credit for photographs and other intellectual property of not just my creations but for other photographers and individuals.

I had to write this for not just myself but for other creatives, this issues had been going on for as long as i can remember and i expected more from Linda Ikeji. I don’t want credit because its the biggest wedding of 2014 so far or because i want traffic or attention. ALL I SIMPLY WANT IS FOR LINDA IKEJI AND OTHER BLOGGERS TO ALWAYS GIVE CREDIT FOR PHOTOGRAPHS THEY NEVER CREATED OR AUTHORED.

Dear Nigerian wife, heartfelt congratulations to you on your recent nuptials. Love is indeed a beautiful thing and I am so pleased that you have met and married the man of your dreams. Surely after all the celebration, you just want to go home and live happily ever after with your other half. To help you navigate towards your future happiness, here are a few words of wisdom from me to you completely free of charge:

The first thing you must know about being a good wife is that your in-laws have all the power in your marriage. Regardless of all you thought or imagined in the past, you start to live by their grace as soon as you say “I do”. Yes. They can visit your home anytime they like with suitcases in tow and stay for as long as they like too. Simply delete any idea you have to complain – after all, you should be grateful they let their son or brother marry you. Instead, as a good wife, you should concern yourself with more important things like getting pregnant immediately. Do not get it twisted. These people are not interested in your ‘good’ girl reputation. All they really want are grand-children.  How you even managed to marry their son without a bun in the oven is beyond them. Didn’t Mary mother of Jesus experience Immaculate Conception? So why didn’t you?

Secondly- for as long as you intend to stay married to Mr wonderful, your cooking has to be on point. In this case, variety is your friend. You have to be able to impress him with your cooking if you want him to keep growing in love with you. Under no condition should you consider ordering food from outside your home; only lazy women get take-out for their families to eat. So please even if hubby requests for Banga soup and starch at midnight, you have to be willing to make it for him. Failure to deliver will push hubby into the hands of those girls out there.

Ha those girls out there! Haven’t you noticed them hanging around before? They are the hot, single ladies who go everywhere in Brazilian hair, short dresses and enough makeup to kill the fishes in the Atlantic Ocean. They are hard-core believers in the merits of married men and their main aim of living is your husband. They go everywhere hoping to bump into him so they can snatch him. But don’t be deceived oh. Even though they look like they live in the salon, these babes can cook! Think about any dish – pepper soup, banga soup, Ayematse, even Bolognese. It does not matter what country or continent the dish is from, they will deliver.

If the girls outside do not catch your husband first, trust the witches and wizards in both your villages to do it. Imagine both Yokozuna and the Undertaker catching your man in a tight corner, and then you know that he is finished. It does not matter that he has never been to his village before. All these forces need to know is that he got married and has to provide for his family to come after him with the vengeance of Amadioha (Igbo deity). To safe guard him and your happiness, you have to join the nearest praying church in your area preferably the ones that chase their enemies with fire. Thereafter, you have to pray every day and night or the witches will think that you are only joking. Ignore the fact that your husband sleeps through your night vigils. It is not him you are after. It is the witches and you don’t want them to intensify their mission. Or do you?

Before long, things should start to quiet down on the spiritual front since more people from your village will have gotten hitched. The shift will leave enough time for you to diligently do your husband’s laundry. Note -Dirty shirts and boxers are your new best friends. They allow you to prove your undying love for your husband. Luckily many people have washing machines nowadays so they rarely have to deal with the skid marks left on oga’s underwear. If for any reason you do not have one of those machines in your house Ariel detergent and a few scrubs works wonders. The magic is complete when everything is dry, neatly ironed and arranged in the drawers for the next wear. His colleagues, friends and family will see how impeccably dressed he is and praise you to high heavens.

Now, while you are pleasing the in-laws, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, working (because modern men detest idle women) you have to make it your objective to remain sexy. So that when the time for adult games come (the one that usually involves a bed) he has absolutely nothing to complain about. You must never plead tiredness, headaches or you will have to explain what you have been doing all day? Also, it is highly beneficial if you endeavour to stay fit because he may ask you to get into all sorts of kinky positions perhaps involving a pole. Whatever you do, do not give him a reason to return you to your father’s house like a broken Barbie. We all know that it does not end well for wives who are returned. Keep him happy.

Dear wife, you do not need to be Nigerian to benefit from the advice here. These words will help you even if you or your husband is from another part of Africa where a happy husband means a happy wife and home.

Finally, thank you, dear reader for reading this far. Allow me to point out that the words above do not reflect my opinion of marriage or how to be a good wife in any way. They are simply, extreme, stereotypical opinions (compiled with fun in mind) of marriage that have been passed on to many young ladies, including me as advise by well-meaning friends and family. To me, a good marriage is not at all about servitude, subjugation or any of their cousins.

I hope you enjoyed my compilation and look forward to any additional stereotypical ideas that you can add in the comment area.

Live, Love, Laugh.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Orangeline