just as i was standing infront of the bank and crying like
someone who lost his dick, my fone rang. I looked at the screen
and it was a friend named segun. I do call him “sege the guru”
because is into blogging and ICT.
SEGE: ogbeni how far? U number no dey waka since yesterday
Me: sege how far
SEGE: I dey o. Wetin do ur voice, u no dey sound normal my guy
ME: I have been duped by a woman i love so much.
SEGE: say wetin, abeg pick a bike dey come oba-ile right now.
I stoppd a bike going to oba-ile where segun lives. After 8mins. I
am at segun’s room entrance
me: ko ko ko
sege: who be that, come in.
I entered, sat down, then without wasting time, i summarized the
whole episode to sege in 3minutes.
SEGE: “were ni e o” omo porta ti lo agbari fun e. Ode ni e
ME: no be my fault, this babe fine die and get assets for front and
back. I just so much love her
SEGE: Ogbeni, you are the “baddest maga ever liveth”
me: thank u. Wetin i go come do now segun
SEGE: no worry, we go arrange collect part or the whole of that
10k from her, u go still straff her free for the next 2days and u go
discharge her without giving a kobo
Me: is that possible, how i go do am now?
Just immediately, a message came in from adebimpe which says
“baby, i’m on my way back”. I showed it to sege. He laughed and
said to me. “ogbeni, if u fall again this time, then u don break
world maga record”.
He opened a bulk sms application on his phone, draft a Access
bank debit alert of 25k and send it to my line.
Me: what should i do with it
SEGE: Show it to her wen u reach house, tell her say ATM debit
the whole 25k wey u wan give her and the money no come out of
the machine, so u dey go the bank tomorrow to complain. But if
she no fit wait, tell her say u get person wey u fit collect the
money from and then call me make i show. We go dey write d
script on whatsapp as u dey go. But make sure u clear the
whatsapp chats after ooo
I dashed out of segun’s house. I went home straight, on getting
home, i met adebimpe sitting on the bed restless. As i entered,
she hugged me and gave me a kiss.
BIMPE: baby, u look unhappy, what happend?
Me: ** i brought out my fone and showed her the alert and then
act the drama as directed by segun”***
bimpe wore a sad face
BIMPE: What do we do now? This is 11:08am and i must get to
PHC today.
ME: ok relax, let me call a friend to borrow me 20k to give you, i
will sort him when u are gone.
I picked up my phone and called segun to come.
Bimpe hugged and kissed me again and said “u are a darling”. I
asked of the surprise she promised earlier, she said i should wait
till my friend leaves so that no one will disturb. I replied “ok”.
Segun arrived at about 10mins later.
ME: sege my guy. Pls i need ur help, my babe wan return to
school today and ATM fuc.ked up. Abeg borrow me 20k till
tomorrow.
SEGUN: lai lai. The 8k wey u borrow last time, u neva returm am
and u wan collect another one?. I go give u the 20k only after u
refund the previous 8k.
ME: Se na because of 8k u come dey disgrace me infront of my
babe?. Abeg i go give u the two together.
SEGUN: lai lai, find means and give me the 8k first.
Then i turned to bimpe.
Me: bimpe, pls do u have 8k with you, let me give this guy so
that he can give me the 20k
BIMPE: i dont have that amount, the only money on me is 5,500
and its a money that my friend gave me to buy weavon for her
from akure.
ME: Don’t worry, give me 5k out of it, since i’m giving you 20k in
return, u can then sort your friend.
She gave me the 5k and i gave it to segun.
ME: Now wey i don give u 5k out of 8k, can u now help me?
SEGUN: Se u know say u be akue?. If not because of ur pretty
girlfriend, i no go help u. Let me go home and bring the money, i
will be back in 10mins time.
Immediately after segun’s departure, she gave me the surprise.
We had a hot romance which leads to one round of sweet sex.
3mins after the sex, segun called, i picked and put on loud
speaker.
Me: sege how far?, where is the money now?
SEGUN: wahala don shele oo. As i dey come ur place the other
time, i forget to lock my door, before i reach home, dem don carry
my lappy and took all the 30k wey dey house.
ME: Eyah. So sorry oo. Abeg se u fit return that 5k, i go find
means add to it give my babe?
SEGUN: U dey mad ni. **segun hanged up the call.
*************flashback*********
Immediately after segun’s departure, bimpe looked into my eyes
while she sat on the bed.
“Onihaxy, I love you. You are cool, cute, gentle and caring, where
have you been all this while when I was looking for a good guy?”.
She then moved close and kissed me and we
started kissing passionately. I took hold of her bosoms and
ooohh
, they were really soft and she stiffled a
moan as I touched her Tips. She said
“I’m afraid that you will dump me after having sex with me
because that is how you guys always do.”, I replied, “baby u
know I so much love you. If not, I won’t be running everywhere to
get money for you…,she smiled and resumed the kissing. I
ripped off
her top and descended voraciously on
her swollen Tips. I furthered downward to unzip her jeans
trouser. I was shocked at what I saw,bimpe was pantless…
Why pantless. I asked?. She replied “I’m not always comfortable
with pants”. But I thought to my self “chaii, swordman must have
a hand in this pantless issue.
She pulled down my jeans and boxers
and saw my erect manliness, she
simply rubbed it and den she sat down with her legs open and
her Kitty-Cat dripping wet. Chai, bimpe is not tight and I noticed
something like Fluid on her Vjay hair. I slid my condomize dick
into her and she gasped. My heart skipped two beats as i felt my
dick heating up and she continue to moan louder.
We switch to canine after about 4minutes of the sex and I
continued going in and out faster and she begged for more which
I gave her
ultimately. We lasted for the next 6mins and I cum. It was
obvious that she noticed that I wasn’t excited about the sex.
What’s wrong baby? Bimpe asked. Nothing, I replied.
Bimpe: Onihaxy, do you truly love me?
ME: why did u ask again?
BIMPE: I just want to be sure because you are the only guy I
have in my life after breaking up with my ex. And I don’t want to
suffer for love again.
ME: I assured you of my love *yinmu*
BIMPE:. Ok dear, let me get a shower and dress up while we are
awaiting uncle segun.
She stood from the bed Unclad, she walked twisting the fresh fair
Bottom as she opened the door to the bathroom .
I took my phone and checked my whatsapp messages. I got a
message from sege. “Mr maga, flash me when u are with your
girl. I will call you, make you put am for loud speaker, I want act
another drama.
*** after segun’s call*****
Bimpe: onihaxy, what is all this now?, how do I leave here now,
your friend went home to bring money only for him to call that his
house was robbed.
ME: I’m amazed too, infact, I don’t know what to do and I don’t
know anybody else who can borrow me this money.
BIMPE: I must leave here today oooo, see the time now, its
11:52am already. I must leave here ooooooooo. Find something
to do ooooo, ****she started bahaving funny******
ME: what do u suggest that I should do now?.
BIMPE: I don’t know ooooo. Just think of how you will get Tfare
for me that will take me to PHC. Maybe you should call uncle
segun back and beg him to refund that 5k, I will sort out how to
get home myself.
ME: I’m not sure if segun will refund the money, but I think of
something. Why not beg your cousin to borrow you the money.
And when I send it to your account, you will refund back to him
BIMPE: I told you that my cousin is stingy and that we fought
before my departure. Infact, when I went there to pick my school
ID card, I gave him the best insults of his life. Dear, can you
imagine what he said when I got there?
ME: what dear?
BIMPE: he said I should help him to fetch water from the well at
the 5th house away from his house after he refused to give me
money.
ME: but na waoo, that your cousin no dey try oooo. I wish to
know him sha
BIMPE: pls no be dat one dey do me. Help me find means to
reach PHC. Call uncle segun and beg him
ME: ok.
…..I picked my phone and dial sege’s number and placed it on
speaker.
ME: sege, how far na, abeg help me with that 5k, my babe dey
cry here and he wan comot today.
SEGE: I no fit drop am ooo, dem don thief the one wey I get for
house so this 5k na the last thing on me.
ME: abeg help me now.
SEGE: ok wait, let me call Akin and talk to him, I will get back to
you..and he hanged up.
….I don’t know who Akin is but I am sure SEGE is up to another
drama.. After 2minutes, segun called back.
SEGE: guy, I don talk to akin. He say him fit try help u make u
come meet am, but him talk say I must dey there as guarantor
incase of wahala.
ME: no problem now, how we go waka abeg?
SEGE: come meet me for house and we go go together go meet
akin. Hope money for bike dey your hand oooo, I no go pay for
any bike oooo. Akin talk say him fit help you 10k.
ME: thanks, I will be on my way. I hanged up
I opened my wallet and found out that I had just 200naira inside.
I turned to bimpe.
ME: baby, there is another problem,
BIMPE: what is the problem again my dear, go and meet the so
call akin now and get the money for me to leave here, its 12:09
already now
ME: I have just 200naira with me and if I should calculate the
fare from my house to segun’s house and from segun’s house to
akin’s house, I will spend 600naira since segun is going with me.
BIMPE: ok, take this remaining 500naira with me and add it to the
200naira with you. Pls be fast and hurry up.
ME: ok ****i collected the 500naira, dashed out of the house,
stopped a 50naira bike and went to meet
sege……………………….
On reaching segun’s house.
Me: sege how far
sege: mr maga. How u dey?
Me: na me be mr maga abi?, ur papa. Who is akin that u are
talking about?.
Sege: u be mumu. U no knw say na drama i dey act?.
Me: just kidding. I don collect the remaining 500naira wey she
hold.
Sege: confirm. Ur head don dey work. How u take do am?
Me: i tell her say i no get tfare take come ur place, she give me
the 5hundred.
Sege: dat one nice, so ur balance remain 4,500 be that.
Me: oya give me the 5k make i dey go home.
Sege: u dey craze. So, u wan go give her the money abi?
Me: i just hold am. But to be serious, i dey pity bimpe sha
sege: u be mumu. She pity u wen she collect ur money go Bleep
person for free at ijoka?
Me: but she get test tomorrow na.
Sege: let her fail. Dat one go dey remind say “magacology” na
bad elective.
Me: wetin i go come do next?,
sege: leave this money with me, dey go house go meet ur babe.
Tell her say akin no see his atm card make she wait till 2maro
wen u go enter bank go settle ur debit palava. Update me on
whatsapp any development
Me: ok
i left segun’s house, stopped a bike an went home straight.
Me: sweetheart, helo
bimpe: dear, its unfair oo. U left since morning knowing that i
will travel
me: so sorry dear.
Bimpe: oya where is the money?, its 1pm already, let me start
going.
Me:***i broke the bad news as directed by segun.
Bimpe was sad, frown and started ranting. She picked her box
and bag.
Me: dear, pls wait till 2moro, i go to bank to settle the atm debit
and give u the money.
Bimpe: i hav test tomorow, i cant wait. Let me go to my cousin
and beg him again hopefully he can help me.
Me: but why are u going with your loads.
Bimpe: i dont have much time, if i can get the money, i will leave
from there, but if i cant, i will return here to sleep.
Bimpe picked her loads and left at 1:20am. Immediately after she
left, her number wasnt reachable again. I said to my self, “chaiii,
thunder fire segun and bimpe o. So i no go yansh this girl this
nite”. I opened her facebook account but no recent chat. I
updated segun on whatsapp and he told me to lock up that bimpe
is gone. So i zero my mind that she has left akure and that i paid
4,500 for one round of sex.
Up till 8pm, her number isnt reachable, i dropped my fone and
slept off. At about 9:40pm, i heard a knock on my window. I
asked “who is that?”. Its me bimpe, come and open the entrance
door for me, the voice replied.
I jumped up, my dick suddenly got erect as i was heading
towards the door and said to myself, let me Bleep.ing begin…
